An individual can spend years guessing the thoughts of others without ever questioning the validity of their own interpretations. Some continue to adjust their behaviors based on unverified assumptions, leading to persistent misunderstandings.
This mechanism often sets in quietly, fueling an invisible tension in relationships and hindering self-assertion. However, methods exist to interrupt this cycle and allow for more authentic communication.
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Why “telepathy” in our relationships complicates self-assertion
We would like to believe that guessing the thoughts of others simplifies life. In reality, this reflex creates distance, muddles signals, and sows confusion. Experiments conducted by the Society for Psychical Research or René Warcollier have demonstrated: telepathy remains a myth. What activates in each of us is the desire to understand, to guess, to endlessly interpret what the other does not say. The result: the relational climate becomes charged with uncertainty. Each person projects their doubts and fears onto the silences of the other. The connection loses clarity.
For the highly gifted individual (HGI), everything intensifies. Hypersensitivity, branching thoughts, hyper-vigilance: every word, every gesture becomes a riddle to decipher. This overexposure erodes self-assertion. Doubt sets in, identity cracks, confidence withdraws.
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And on this unstable ground, manipulation and control thrive. A narcissistic pervert, for example, does not hesitate to maintain ambiguity, multiplying unspoken words and double talk. The person opposite, often highly gifted, loses their footing, doubts their perception, and ends up silencing what they feel, convinced they are mistaken.
Finding a way out of the maze begins with a return to facts, paying attention to what is present, not to what we imagine. To go further, discovering Fiteo’s advice offers concrete pathways: learning to set boundaries, clarifying one’s speech, and refusing to succumb to the illusion of relational mentalism.
What if we stopped guessing the thoughts of others? Becoming aware of our needs and expressing ourselves clearly
Guessing what the other thinks: a habit that wreaks havoc. Ruminations set in, misunderstandings accumulate, and emotional exhaustion creeps in. The higher a person’s sensitivity, the more they get lost in assumptions and scenarios. The brain runs on empty, anxiety settles in, and confidence withers. Howard Gardner, with his theory of multiple intelligences, reminds us that the ability to manage one’s emotions and understand those of others is not limited to IQ. Emotional quotient (EQ) then becomes an ally for navigating the twists and turns of communication.
To escape the trap of interpretations, start by identifying your emotions and needs. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) offers a four-step approach: observe without judging, name what you feel, identify the need behind that emotion, and then dare to make an explicit request. This process, far from being ancillary, gives substance to speech and dissipates the fog of projections.
Here are some key questions to engage in the process:
- What do I feel at this very moment?
- What need lies behind this emotion?
- What request can I make to address it, without assuming what the other thinks?
The book I Think Too Much by Christel Petitcollin accurately explores how the intensity of thoughts sabotages self-esteem. She provides concrete tools to loosen the grip of dependence on the approval of others. Expressing oneself clearly means opting for simplicity and accuracy. It also gives the relationship a chance to calm down and oneself the opportunity to strengthen.
Concrete techniques to manage thoughts and assert oneself calmly in daily life
Taming the inner turmoil
The flow of thoughts, often unleashed in sharp minds, cannot be tamed by will alone. There are simple methods accessible to everyone to regain some calm: heart coherence, for example, involves breathing slowly for three to five minutes. This practice reduces tension, promotes a return to the present moment, and allows for observing internal states without judgment. Meditating or simply stopping to breathe deeply offers the mind a welcome pause.
Organize, write, transform
Writing acts as an outlet. Putting thoughts, emotions, and scenarios on paper helps gain perspective, bring order to inner chaos, and reveal real needs. Using a mind map provides an overview, structures the branching of ideas, and clarifies what seemed confusing. For those who need something concrete, organizing one’s space, tidying papers, sorting a desk provides a sense of mental calm.
To reinforce these approaches, a few simple routines prove particularly effective:
- Each evening, reflect on three significant events of the day and cultivate gratitude.
- Transform “I must” into “I choose” to regain control over your decisions.
- Ground yourself physically: feet on the floor, deep breathing, presence to oneself.
Nonviolent communication remains a reliable compass for expressing oneself without aggression. Formulate your requests clearly, welcome the response without getting lost in interpretation, and resist the temptation to guess the hidden intention. Practicing yoga or walking in nature complements these tools and offers the nervous system a welcome break from the turmoil of mental projections.
Through repeated practice of clarity and listening to one’s own needs, an obvious truth emerges: there is no magic in guessing what the other thinks. There is, on the contrary, freedom in living within the simplicity of open dialogue, where words finally replace silent guessing.